In the past 3 weeks I have learned how to perform every single task necessary to produce a video. This weekend I’ve been immersed in learning how to create newsletters and auto responses for the website. Also on my plate is understanding how to effectively administer the many details necessary for keeping a website up-to-date, like writing this blog. I’ve discovered a self-identity that hasn’t made it easier – “I’m not good with technology”. Bumping up against this unnecessary box has made my learning journey challenging at times. I’ve gotten pretty impatient with myself…as if I expect to master this new world on command. 

When the frustration has shown up, I’ve stopped and asked “what is really going on here?” And every single time the answer leads me to see that “I’m thinking”. Well, duh!  So, what am I thinking that causes the fuse to blow? I’m thinking this should be easier to do, that the tech designers should be more intuitive, that I am stupid at technology, that I’ll never get it right.

Sound familiar? Let’s look at this dynamic pattern and tease it out a bit. What’s really going on?

1. A deadline imposed by me that didn’t take into account I would be doing something I’ve never done before. Does this sound like a genius move to you? It surely isn’t. And an unrealistic expectation can cause unnecessary emotional reactions.

2. I am afraid I won’t get it. This future projection takes me out of the present moment. Each time I am immersed in genuine curiosity I figure things out and there is absolutely no problem. In those moments I am captivated, and don’t feel at all like Sisyphus, the Greek mythological figure that is doomed to forever roll a boulder uphill.

3. I brush up against a self-image that “I am a technological idiot”. A friend with a high-paying Silicon Valley role assures me this isn’t true and I am beginning to see that diving into this mysterious world can actually be fun.

4. My emotions get engaged. Impatience is an emotion, not a thought. Our thinking engages our emotions. We actually feel our thinking, whether it is thinking on the conscious, sub-conscious or unconscious level. Impatience is linked to frustration and anger. It is a powerful aging-agent. And far from a genius state of awareness.

Where am I now? Pretty darn happy that I am learning so much, way less dependent on my fabulous tech allies, improving my brain and flexibility. I am discovering how liberating it is to understand these technology functions. The entire experience is generating greater genius. Hallelujah.

Life is full and every experience plays its part. Here’s to expanding our own genius and the genius of all the people we interact and work with. Carry on!